Life is mystery
One way to approach a mystery is to try to solve it. If that doesn't work, another fruitful approach is to look and see if there's a second, more fathomable mystery hiding behind the mystery you can't solve. Often there is, and that's your way in. Anything aiming to achieve invisibility hides behind the visible. We can go ever further and say that invisible things hide behind their oen visible equivalents because they provide the most effective cover.
Let me prove the point using an absurd analogy; you might move your bread bin and expect to see breadcrumbs on the pantry shelf behind it but you wouldn't move it and expect to see another bread bin behind it.
That's why it is always wise, where difficult human situations are concerned to look for the motive behind the motive, the guilt behind the guilt, the lie behind the lie, the secret behind the secret, the duty behind the the duty , you can substitute any number of loaded abstract nouns and the formula will still work. The impossible mystery behind the impossible mystery. Impossible in very different ways, though one impossible of content, the other of form.
The mystery we mustn't allow anyone to solve because it would cause too much pain and suffering all round, hiding behind the one we can't solve because there is literally no solution, not unless the terms and conditions have been incorrectly presented. Still we beaver away at trying to crack it. Hoping we'll be clever enough to find a way of making it all come good, making the impossible possible.
We'd feel Godlike if only we could do that. And we forget all about the unglamorous simple-to-solve mystery hiding in the shadows that offers us no psychic visions and no locked rooms. Who needs more pain and suffering in their life?
Embarrassment, guilt, shame and humiliation are the most disabling emotions we can feel, far more harmful to our wellbeing even than hatred or extreme unhappiness, which are other focused and therefore easier on our sense of self.
Talked about also the denial differents, it's more like having a stain on your shirt that upsets you. You pull your jumper over it so that it doesn't show and almost but not quite forget that it's there. Distraction is when you don't remember something you otherwise would because ypur attention is elsewhere, something else in sharp focus in tje the foreground causing you to neglect the background.
In my mind, professional behaviour is a crutch for mediocre dullards to lean on. Truly intelligent people realise that hiding behind professional role will inevitably involve a certain amount of counter-intuitive, inauthentic behaviour and to get the best results from people, we must be our true selves in their company.
Harbouring an overpowering desire for something not to happen feels the same as forbidding it to happen.
(My original article is in Bahasa. Thanks to Dr Faizal for guide me to translate in english)
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